GenPox Pack Genuine Horoscopes
Welcome to Generation Apocalypse webzine’s genuine horoscopes augured by none other than the GenPox Pack. join koda, Rocky, Lola, Shilo, & Frodo as they use their memes to augur the future! Check out all of their genuine horoscopes here.
Born under a Mundane sign
You are boring with a capital m for mediocre. it’s not your fault though, so fret not, my friend! It’s just that when they made you they used the most aggressively normal mould they could find – But that shouldn’t mean that you can’t yearn for more!
Are Your Humors Out Of Alignment Because You Are Most Vexed By What The Future Portends, But You Have Lost Faith In Standard Astrologies & Other Augurical Arts In These Ominously Fluxual Times? Are you tired of fate’s whispers bypassing your ears as you fade into yet another background?
Look no further, my bland and beautiful friend, for we shall disclose to you what fate hath decreed for spiceless souls such as thee! Just scroll down to find the celestial alignments whose augury you find yourself in want of.
Under mundane celestial alignments
Just because there’s nothing particularly special about a day doesn’t mean nothing’s gonna happen on it – boring average each-day-running-into-the-next days are the starting points for many an adventure – perhaps there’s one in store for thee!
UNDER MUNDANE CELESTIAL ALIGNMENTS:
Born Under A Sign Most Mundane
#RONKED
some people say that if you feel that your life is boring it’s only because your soul is the manifestation of mediocrity and is warping the reality around you to become the most mediocre and boring version of what it could be. we think that might be a bit harsh – you’re soul is probably just tainted by mediocrity rather than being a manifestation of it. Anyway, rocky knows that sometimes the everydayness of life just wears at you and you need to melt your face into the floor about it for a few minutes. don’t feel bad, sometimes we all get a little #Ronked.
the stars your destination
whoever thought the end of the world would be so…so…so fucking much. just so damn much all the time – sometimes it just gets to be a bit too much and you gotta head to splitsville, baby! That’s when the stars are your destination, and we’re here to help you find your way to them.
The Stars Your Destination:
Born Under A Sign Most Mundane
the time is nigh to permanently doff your “Everything is Ok” mask
as far as your concerned, boats are made for sailin and not for rockin – which is some of the best possible advice for real boats and the worst possible advice for metaphorical boats. so, unless your continued existence requires you maintaining your balance in what realistically would have to be an incredibly small boat – start rockin.
face it: your basic life strategy of “do nothing and hope everything gets better” is a death (or worse) strategy for the apocalypse. we understand your concern that your core of mediocrity just isn’t up to the task of heroing through an apocalypse, but that brings us to the second thing you need to face:
some people were born to be the forgettable member of an actually interesting person’s entourage. That’s you. aim there, you’ve got what it takes to make it. we believe in you!
when the moon hits your eye
That’s Amoré, Bitches! Some say that dogs are nature’s perverts, but that’s just because we’re so gosh-darn filled to the brim with love*! Either way, come & hearken unto the sooth we’re sayin concerning everyone’s favorite topic: love.
*And If we’re being 100% honest, perversions, too – but in our defense humans are uptight aF.
When The Moon Hits Your Eye:
Born Under A Sign Most Mundane
Stop Scolding The Mirror: You’re Already Lovable
Somewhere along the way You Got It in your head that you’re not special, or worthy of love…for reasons. Well, My friend, we’re here to tell you that all those reasons are wrong. stop apologizing for existing and stop looking for reasons why you wouldn’t want to be with someone like you.
accept who you are so that you can be who you are – that’s what loving yourself means, not being in love with who you are. that’s somebody else’s role entirely!
seriously, when mediocre hearts meet do you really want to listen to all the reasons why you’re wrong every time you give them a compliment? well, neither do they! Accept your droops so that somebody else can love them – that’s what life is all about!
Bad moon Rising
Bad moons are notorious for the troubled times they portend, but alas! you’ve become a bit of a troubled times connoisseur over the past few years and it sure seems like you’re in for a lot more practice sooner rather than later. Fear not, my friend, and let us guide you with our apocalyptic auguries concerning the bad moon that’s on the rise!
Bad Moon Rising:
Born Under A Sign Most Mundane
Ordinary Bad Luck In Unprecedented times
*Average* doesn’t need to mean *boring*, sure – but why does It have to be *not boring* like this? but in your averageness lies your true power: you can choose to become the dexter of shit-hitting-the-fan splatter patterns or you can join a project or two underway by people who are trying to make “ordinary life” not suck – your fate is in your hands!
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