Cue The Music - Generation Apocalypse Webzine

Tattooed arm with skewed exposure. tattoo is of a small illustrated axolotl wearing a crown of leaves with the words "sigo vivo" underneath it. Overlaid are the words: "A Doomer's Guide to getting Rigth with the Apocalypse"

doomer’s guide part 1

Cue The Music!

full disclosure: I have not been handling the end of the world very well at all. “a doomer’s guide to getting right with the apocalypse” began as a way to analyze my way out of a nervous breakdown. idk, it helps me to understand a situation as fully as possible before i do anything to try to change the situation or my place in it. [90s infomercial narrator voice:] if you’re into that shit too, then the Doomer’s guide might be right for you!

This section is basically the opening credits for what’s to follow: my lament for the world & the people in it – and even more importantly to hopefully find the others out there who see the world & care about the world the same way as i do.

Setting the Scene

screenshot of a blank video with the poorly scrawled words "New Year's 2020" and an emoji wearing sunglasses and a goofy smile — Fig 1.1

clip-art of a video with the words "March 2020" in poorly hand drawn red letters and the words (The Fraying) in yellow type below it. emoji in the bottom corner of someone trying to cover their eyes so as not to see what is in front of them — Fig 1.1

Cue the music: Right Before My Eyes by Cage the Elephant. Figures 1.1 through 1.whatever-the-fuck show the evolution from a bright-eyed bushy-tailed me at the beginning of 2020, freshly minted doctor of “wait, what is your degree in?” (it’s Comparative Literature btw), ready to start a professional career at a dapper young 40, into…well, I’m going to make a lot of short stories long before you know exactly what I mean by this, but a Doomer.

In fact, much of whatever this is [*gestures dismissively at text*] will be devoted to explaining what I mean and what I definitely do not mean when I use this term. It’s an extremely vague term but also descriptive when applied to all types of contexts, so for my purposes I do not care in the least about any other uses. Don’t know, don’t care.

pullquote, blue lettering and boxing on white background. the quote says: I need to find the others who lament the loss of world in the same way as me

Okay, but before I start with all that, some context. If you stick with me you will hear me say (see me write? whatever, same difference) over and over that context matters. Not only that, but it is literally the most important thing in every context. [see what I did there? not a joke though, it’s always true.]

Anyway, this little what-have-you serves two main purposes for me: as a lamentation and as a call to pack. First as a lamentation because chronologically that’s how it started, and then very soon after it began to take shape in my mind the call to pack began to take precedence. Though it’s all still lamentation – that’s the tone all these words should be taken in, don’t think for a moment that I ain’t lamentatin’ throughout. Because I am – but not just.

This call to pack, my call to pack, is a lamentation because I need to find the others who lament the loss of world in the same way as me – and so I am not addressing this “guide” at literally anyone except the people who it actually applies to, and who those are will become more apparent as we move along.

So, if anything in here rubs you the wrong way even to the point of chapping your hide: sorry, but I’m probably not talking to you anyway. And that’s okay honestly – I hear people say things that don’t have anything to do with me all the time and as an adult who is not also an overgrown toddler I simply stay the fuck out of those conversations. It’s a wonderful arrangement, truth be told, staying out of other people’s business. Highly recommend.